The Sarcastic Warrior Legend
A Sam/Jack Stargate SG-1 FanFic based on the season 7 episode Grace
~Slight Star Trek Voyager Crossover~
By Polomare
December 2009 * 675 Words * Rated PG or T

Author's Note To S/Jer's: You need to watch the Star Trek Voyager Episode "Resolutions" to get this story.
Author's Note To J/Cer's: You need to watch the Stargate SG-1 Episode "Grace" to get this story.

"Carter, let's face it. I'm not that complex."

Sam's trachea felt like an iron rod in her throat. She would have to remind herself to breathe sometime soon. How could he do that? How could a mere figment of this man do this to her? What was he saying? That if she would just say the word, they could be together? Really, truly be together?

Her face begged for explanation. What she knew of Jack, this embodiment of him, gave her what she needed.


Yes, call me Sam.

"Did I ever tell you the story of the Sarcastic Warrior? It's an ancient legend among my people."

"Your people?" Carter tilted her head in that characteristic questioning gaze. "You mean, like, Earthlings?"

He gave her his best squinty eye. "No." He squared his shoulders defiantly. "I meant... Minnesota-ah-lings."

"Ah." Of course, that makes much more sense.

"Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Sorry sir." She waved him on with a grin. "Go ahead." She was entertained already.

"Well, there was this warrior from a long... long, long-long-long... long time ago. He fought bad guys. He was good at it." He raised his eyebrows with a little bit of mock modesty. "Some even called him a hero of his tribe."

"Tribal hero, huh?"

"Work with me Carter!"

Uh oh. He was back to calling her Carter. She had better shut up.

"As I was saying, this warrior got along fine by himself for many years. He had a hole in his heart from a loss that could never be justified. He felt he didn't deserve happiness. So the only satisfaction he got out of life was when he was in battle. You know, killing big, ugly, nasty, stinky bad guys."

Carter nodded her head understandably.

"But then one day a wise woman warrior came into his life. She was every bit as good a soldier as he was. She was noble and brave and so damn smart that... well, he was just in awe of her."

Sam felt a hot blush fly across her cheeks.

"And it didn't hurt that she was smoking hot too." Jack reverted to a primal male state and growled with sexual hunger. "I mean, her body just won't quit." He traced a voluptuous female figure in the air and made a suggestive cupping motion around what would be her-


"Right." He snapped out of it. "Anyway, he realized he could never have her. What with the fate of the galaxy hanging in the balance and all. So he satisfied himself just to be by her side. Supporting her. Looking out for her. Giving her room to do her thing. Admiring her from afar, and yet ever vigilant for that subtle hint, a glance, a suggestion, a change in her body language, anything that might give him an excuse to break protocol. So far, she has not been forthcoming with that permission. But he'll wait forever for her." He delivered a penetrating gaze that left no room for misinterpretation. "She's worth it."

Sam's eyes twinkled with unshed tears. So it was true. He was waiting for her.

"Did I mention she was hot?"

Sam let out a gasping scoff while she wiped her eyes.

"And thus, the warrior perfected the ancient art of deflecting one's true emotions through sarcasm."



"I ..."

"Go save yourself. We'll talk when you get back."

She stole a kiss and hated herself at once for it. If she was kissing him in her fantasies, that meant her subconscious knew she wouldn't be brave enough to do it in real life. She tore away from him and cursed her cowardice.

If she got out of this alive, she vowed to make that kiss a reality.

~The End~

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